A false fall
or just the tail of Hurricane Helene
According to many of the locals I have met here Baltimore has 12 seasons. At this time of year, it goes from summer, to ‘hells front porch’, to false fall, to second summer, and then actual fall. I am not quite sure where today’s intense humidity, fog and rain fits into this but I am really ready for tights and boots season please. I think I sweated more today than I did in my hot yoga class on monday.
To briefly follow up on my last post about the O’s match I went to - apparently it was one of the more exciting ones and we have now clinched a spot in post season. Not entirely sure what that means other than there are more matches!
I have now been here for over a month. Earlier this week i was listening to a panel discussion where Governor Wes Moore (Democratic Governor for Maryland) said ‘we are not the product of our environment; we are the product of our expectations’. This was in the context of the expectations we have for young men and boys of color and how the expectations society has for them influences life chances. But the statement also resonated for me and I kept thinking about how all of the things I have found difficult in my first month here have not actually been about the situation but about how the situation has matched against the expectations I had for myself. And let’s be honest some of those expectations were pretty mad.
In an attempt to let some of them go, I thought I would share them here, one for every week in the country.
1. That I would immediately meet and be swept of my feet by a 6ft 3 White House staffer. This has not happened. I suspect they are busy, and it turns out so am I. I have also not been out past 10pm and I think mostly met men aged under 30 or over 50. However, if you are one of the people who has text to ask if I have met any nice American men yet, please don’t. Dating is so far down my current list of priorities it probably doesn’t even make it on there anymore. Also, it has never set me back before so not sure why it would be any different here. My focus is on me and having the best time I can.
2. That a normal working day lasts ten hours and involves back-to-back meetings on teams. By far the biggest adjustment for me has been stepping into an entirely different working environment and I have found it mentally very challenging. In all honesty I have had a lot of guilt about not doing enough, not contributing, not adding value. I hear how colleagues back home are still running at full speed and my mentor here is also bouncing from thing to thing while I get to sit and read, go to a talk or listen to a podcast. I do, however, completely realise that this is the whole point of this year and something to embrace rather than fight. I have been given an amazing opportunity to step off the treadmill, use my brain in a different way, and bring back with me renewed enthusiasm, ideas and energy. And perhaps a better perspective on how to slow the treadmill down – not just for me but for everyone around me.
3. That I would understand the American healthcare system. The commonwealth fund released a great report this week comparing 10 different health systems and finding the US system to be spending the most per GDP but with the worst access to care and poor outcomes.
The most alarming statistic I read this week (and trust me there have been many) was how many children in the states do not have health insurance. Recent estimates suggest 5.2% of kids aged under 17 are uninsured, with many more underinsured and therefore unable to access the care they need. This is happening alongside a context of increasing mental ill health in children, and accidents and gun violence as the leading causes of death.
One advantage of the COVID pandemic was that policies enacted including the Families First Coronavirus Response Act, led to large increases in coverage for low-income children and families. The continuous coverage element of the Act ended in 2023 and since then over 4 million fewer children were enrolled in Medicaid and CHIP (children’s health insurance plan). More concerning is that its estimated many of these children actually remain eligible but will need to re-enroll and the stats seem to suggest only a modest proportion are doing so. In practice this means more children without coverage, unable to access care and will families at risk of out of pocket payments and debt. The potential impacts of this on long term health and education are huge. As another demonstration of the state-to-state variation, and how politics contributes so much to health here, Texas and Florida account for 1.6 million children of the total 4 million who have been unenrolled. Many states have enacted protection policies to ensure this highly vulnerable group do not miss out on health coverage at a pivotal time in their development while others have sped up the unenrolment process. One of my key drivers for this year is to think more about how we tell a compelling narrative for investment in children as this challenge is not unique to the US. I hope I am proved wrong but in every recent re-organisation of the NHS, long term plan or new strategy, children barely get a mention as resource is always re-directed to those who have a louder voice.
4. That I would feel settled and a routine within a month. I mean what was I thinking???? I have just about worked out which my favourite supermarket is (Sprouts for those asking), finally found the equivalent of semi skimmed milk, and am feeling much more confident in navigating my neighbourhood and most of town…..But I certainly don’t feel fully settled. I don’t know how easy it is to ever feel really settled when you are living in someone else’s house, and especially as I only have this place for 3 months so already need to start looking at moving. It was 100% the right decision to do – google street view is not a reliable means to find a house! But it means I need to find creative ways to feel at home here – I bought with me one mug, some cards from friends and family and a picture of all my nieces and nephews which is not enough but I am finding listening to English podcasts very soothing. Routine wise I am still in the stage of trying various things out – this week I did a book club and then a new running club, both of which I enjoyed and will go back to. But regular routine is a long way off. I should also probably remind myself that part of me hates routine and loves the fact a lack of ties means I don’t need to follow one. Its also allowed me to say yes to two very exciting upcoming travel trips and so maybe i just need to accept and embrace. I made contact this week with a couple of Harkness fellows from previous years and both were very honest about how long it took them to settle. It was what I needed to hear and a reminder to take the pressure off.
5. That all I would need to do is open my mouth and speak and everyone would want to be my friend. I cannot tell you how many times people at home would say to me ‘oh you will make friends instantly; they will love your accent’. The reality is most people have not even noticed I am from another country, not even when I am channelling Kate Middleton. I thought initially it may be because they don’t get huge numbers of ‘transplants’ as the technical term is here – most people seem to grow up and stay in Batimore/Baltimore County/Maryland. But I also think it is because the Baltimore accent is pretty unique and having done some research, have learnt that it has history and affiliation with both West country English and Scottish English. Maybe the childhood in Devon and parents in Edinburgh were all to prepare me to fit in here? It does make sense as there are some words with very rounded r’s as this video demonstrates (do skip the first couple of minutes).
I think I also slightly thought there would be a big welcome party for me at work – it has been a long time since I started somewhere new where I did not know anyone, and I have really realised that the effort is going to have to come from me. Everyone is being very nice and welcoming, but everyone is also very busy. The model here is that you have to bring in 75% of your own income and so it is a constant hustle for grants/awards/funding. I am leaving my office door open, have turned my computer so that I can see the corridor and sent a few emails to people asking to meet for coffee.
Most of the adult friends i have made in the last few years have been through work. But here I am having to look outside also. Others may disagree but I don’t find the meeting people bit hard – if you look there are plenty of ways you can do it and as long as you are happy to have a reasonably open mind and a few fail safe conversation topics (my go to is ‘have you been in Baltimore long’?) you will meet lots of people. What is harder is turning that initial meeting into an ongoing friendship and i suspect a little like dating you sort of need to kiss a few frogs along the way. This week I went to a running club with someone I had met volunteering – it was my first follow up meet and it was great! Nice to move past pleasantries and catch up on life. You just have to keep going…..(NB I should own up to the fact that I was meant to be making effort right now and going cycling with that Friday group again but it is raining, and I am tired so I am on the sofa in pyjamas!).
There are my five things I will let go. Its been pretty therapeutic use of my friday night even if it has taken longer than expected and it is now to late to start the new season of Slow horses.
Baltimore Book Festival tomorrow. I have not heard of a single author speaking but will go along anyway. There are also some live pig races happening somewhere else in town and various Oktoberfest events. A fairly normal weekend by all accounts. I am then off to NYC for a week then being joined by my first visitor to go to Philadelphia and fulfil my life dream to see a live recording of ‘Pod Save America’ (though annoying this podcast is probably responsible for my pipe dream about meeting a staffer!)
Not many pics this week but heres some Baltimore beer and odd snacks I am yet to try.
Take care and thanks for reading
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